Miscellany

Of my many talents (ha!), packing surely isn’t one of them.  I will give myself credit for packing in under one hour and a half.

Okay Portland, I’ll see you on the other side.

B: So, what did you do today?

Me: I had a meeting and an appointment but a majority of it was spent incubating. B: Incubating?

Me: Yes, doing a lot of productive things but at home. I had a to-do list for the house and a to-do list out of the house. I focused on in-house projects.

B: By incubating, I thought you meant sitting on an egg.

Me: If my ass is an egg, then I suppose I did sit on it during part of the day.

A Batman, a Joker, and a Harley Quinn walk into a party. They socialize with one another.

To Batman, I say:

I’m pretty sure the Justice League would fine you for fraternizing with the enemy.

To which he responds:

Justice League ain’t got nothin’ on this. I keep them in check (or something to that extent and definitely not verbatim).

Korean?

No.

Japanese?

No.

Thai?

No.

Vietnamese?

No.

When asked the question (in jest):

Got any crack?

Response?

Yes. Between my two back pockets. Hey oohh.

Guess attempt 1: Green screen

GA2: Gay ninja turtle

Actual: Ninja turtle

GA1: Web graphic designer

GA2: Art student

Actual: I didn’t have time to dress up after work

GA1: Gay cowboy

Actual: Cowboy

GA1: Chester Cheeto

GA2: Orange watermelon

Actual: Fred Flinstone

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364 days of the year, my attitude is generally awesomely positive to ridiculously giddy with gray variations between the two. One random day of the year, I will not be inclined to be friendly or kind. It’s a strange and rare black cloud occurance. Today was that day. This luxury was taken away from me (fortunately) when a morning semi-regular (whose name I can’t quite recall) says to me whilst I was cleaning the condiment bar:

Guest: Oh! It’s you! You’re the girl with that burst of energy, always smiling and so willing to help.

I guess black cloud day is cancelled due to not-so inclement weather. See you next year.

My favorite (and only) chef on the subject of servers:

Men like the boobs big, the hair blonde, and the brain dumb.

This is depressing. Would any respectable man care to debunk this theory of hers?

What do you do when you fall off the wagon?

You chase it like a mother-fucking madman until you can grab something to hold onto and pull yourself up again.

The best kind of happiness is made up of three equally important parts:

It is illogical, irrational, and entirely unreasonable.

A rainbow unicorn with glitter wings and a golden saddle couldn’t top it.

There was a once young gentleman outside of the Albertsons attempting to sell me a candy bar.

Gentleman:  Miss, would you like to buy a candy bar?

Cayleen:  No thank you, sir.

Gentleman:  You’re too beautiful to say no.

Cayleen:  *Turns around to smile politely, and continues walking*

I was under the influence that women, beautiful or not, had every right to exercise the use of that one very powerful monosyllabic word.  Besides, by his logic, every beautiful woman about to be raped SHOULD be, because they’re “too beautiful to say no.”

Watery logic indeed.

My adoration of fireworks has been persistent throughout my life.  For as long as I can remember, seeing the bursts of light followed by the boom has always, ALWAYS set my heart ablaze.  There is something so incredibly magical about it.

How magical?

I was cruising down the 5 freeway towards my parent’s home and I was SO distracted by the Disneyland Fireworks, I just barely avoided a car collision (that would have involved..me).

I can see why my driving makes passengers nervous.  How easily distracted I am could raise a few eyebrows and would definitely be cause for concern.